Ladyboys in Bangkok and Pattaya: Bars, Shows and Etiquette

In Thailand, 'ladyboy' is widely used, including by many ladyboys themselves, and the Thai word is 'kathoey'. Some prefer 'transgender woman' or the formal Thai 'sao praphet song'. Follow her lead. What matters more is how you act: treat her like any other woman, don't joke about it in front of her, and don't ask intrusive questions.

Much the same as you would a woman in the same kind of establishment. At ladyboy bars, drinks, lady drinks and bar fines follow the normal gogo or beer bar system, and her own fee is agreed with her directly. Freelance ladyboys in clubs or on the street set their own rates. Agree the price, the time and what's included before you leave. VIP members see current prices at the ladyboy bars we review.

Yes, even if you're not interested in anything else. The long-running cabaret theaters in Pattaya and Phuket put on polished, glamorous shows with big costumes and lip-synced numbers, and they're a mainstream tourist attraction. Book ahead in high season. They're a great way to start a night, especially with a group.

Ask the bar or ask her, politely and privately, if you're unsure. Ladyboy bars are generally well known, staff will tell you honestly, and many ladyboys are upfront if asked respectfully. Misunderstandings mostly happen with freelancers late at night. There's nothing wrong with saying 'not for me', as long as you say it kindly.

More openly than in most countries, but not fully. Kathoey are highly visible in shops, offices, television and beauty pageants, and most Thais treat them as a normal part of life. At the time of writing, though, Thai law still doesn't let transgender people change the sex on their ID card, and discrimination at work and in families still happens. It's one reason so many ladyboys work in nightlife and entertainment.

Not at a guest-friendly hotel. Reception will check her ID card as they would for any visitor, and because Thai law has not let trans people change the sex on their ID card, hers may still say 'Mr'. Staff see this every day, so don't make an issue of it and don't apologize for her. A hotel that bans visitors or charges joiner fees does so for everyone, so check the policy before you book.

Many are fine, but some street groups on Sukhumvit, Walking Street and Beach Road are known for pickpocketing drunk men: one hugs or gropes while another lifts a wallet or phone. Keep valuables in a front zip pocket, don't stop for a group, and carry only the night's cash. If you want company, a ladyboy bar is the safer choice, because the bar knows her and you can go back if something goes wrong.

The same things as with anyone, plus roles. Most ladyboys working in bars are pre-op, and they aren't all bottoms: many are versatile and some prefer to top, so say what you want and ask what she enjoys before you leave the bar. Agree the fee, the time and any extras. Condoms and plenty of water-based lube are essential for anal sex. Her limits are final, whatever you assumed.